Ilana shut the door to her room on Frontier One. She leaned back and closed her eyes, soaking in the afterglow of the last several hours.
But first things first. She activated her mailbox from her smart contact’s menu on the inside of her wrist, pulled up the Admiral’s message, and dictated an acceptance to her job offer.
She was done dragging her feet – she’d thought about her decision enough. She knew she wanted to stay because she didn’t want to leave this world behind come morning.
For the first time, she was exactly where she wanted to be in the entire galaxy.
She closed her eyes again and pressed her hands over her heart, imagining Gabriel’s touch. His soft, genuine words of support. She’d never been so attracted to anyone before in her life. She’d wanted to rip off his clothes – except he’d already been naked – and jump him where he stood. Just climb the man like a tree in the most uncivilized way.
“That took you long enough.”
Ilana screamed and jumped. Someone was standing across the room from her – Jayden, their arms crossed.
“Sweet Gaia, earthly mother, holy fuckity fuck,” she sputtered, her heart rate skyrocketing. “What are you doing here? Who even let you in?”
They shrugged. “I let myself in.”
“How?” Ilana massaged her temple, panting to catch her breath. “You know what? Doesn’t even matter. But my first question still stands.”
Jayden didn’t answer right away. Finally, they shrugged. “I don’t know. This was the only place I could think of to go.”
Ilana gaped, speechless. She threw up her arms and sighed. “Okay.”
Jayden straightened, uncrossing their limbs. The combative slant of their brow dialed down to merely suspicious. For a brief moment, they looked lost, unprepared to hold the reins of a conversation when they had been gearing up for a fight.
This wasn’t the first time a kid had appeared in Ilana’s room unannounced and scared her out of her wits. It was bound to happen when she had nine younger siblings and countless cousins. Nightmares, crushes, identity crises, broken hearts – she’d seen it all. She just hadn’t expected it to happen here, millions of kilometers from home.
Ilana unzipped her coat and stepped further into the room. “How long were you waiting?”
“A good five hours.”
She gathered up a deck of tarot cards scattered among her other belongings on the bed. “Long enough to go through my stuff, I see.”
The kid shrugged. “I got bored.”
Ilana had to stop the urge to sit Jayden down for a conversation about boundaries. Now was not the time to alienate them. She had no idea what they were doing here but she was straight up out of spoons for the day. She ordered a bottle of water from the replicator menu, sat on the bed, and took off her shoes. “As long as you promise not to kill me in my sleep, you’re welcome to stay. But I’ve had a long day so I am going to sleep now.”
Jayden brooded in the corner while Ilana washed up and put on a silk pajama set printed from the closet. She slipped under the covers. “Feel free to print one for yourself. Do you know how to use the replicator?”
“Of course I do,” Jayden murmured before poking at the console.
Ilana turned away onto her side, snuggling into the covers. Remembering the delights of the night before, when Gabriel’s scent had enveloped her and she’d taken on the delicious weight of his body.
The sheets no longer smelled of him. Ilana hadn’t realized that some beds automatically cleaned their sheets every day. She would’ve turned off the feature if she’d known, to soak in more of the sensual memories.
The mattress dipped as Jayden crawled onto the other side.
Ilana’s fantasies scattered. Inwardly, she sighed.
“I won’t kill you in your sleep,” they said.
“You can get under the covers.”
Rustling. Then, silence.
She opened her eyes to Jayden’s face inches from her on the other pillow, their icy blue gaze trained on her. Their skin was unblemished, their complexion soft and pale, as if they’d been hidden away from the sun. They tucked their small, thin hands under their cheek.
“What is it?” Ilana kept her tone as neutral as possible. She’d normally be more diplomatic but she was running on empty both physically and emotionally.
This close, Jayden was astonishingly beautiful, their features symmetrical and plump like a doll’s, their eyes big and wide. “I’m trying to decide if you’re trustworthy.”
Ilana’s eyelids fell heavy. She yawned. The covers were just so warm and comfortable. “I’m trusting you in my bed with my life. Does that count for anything?”
Another silence. “Maybe.”
She peeked one eye open but waited. Jayden had clearly come to talk – eventually, the words would come. She tried not to snooze off in the meantime.
“Do you trust the Admiral?” they asked finally.
Now they were getting somewhere. Ilana answered truthfully because she had no reason to lie and because she had no energy for it. “I don’t know her that well. I met her at the same time you did. So far she hasn’t done anything to make me distrust her.”
“You trust her enough to work for her.” That wasn’t a question.
“I do. I’m excited about it, actually.”
Now that Ilana had actually accepted the Admiral’s job offer, she could move on from fretting to celebrating a little bit. She’d never been excited about her job maintaining an Alliance data hex – the contract was a way to get off-planet and the best entry-level position she could find with her nonexistent space skills. In contrast, this new opportunity held real meaning. Challenges, too. Her path was clear, for once, even with the Gabriel as a complication.
Jayden chewed their lip and closed their eyes. “There’s more of us. More people like me. More than just in the shuttle, I mean.”
“I’m listening,” Ilana said quietly.
“The Admiral said she could… help them. Is that true?”
In the end, what Ilana thought didn’t really matter. “What does your gut say?”
They sighed. “I’m not used to trusting adults.”
“Did you read anything about the Admiral’s work online?” When Jayden nodded, Ilana pressed. “What did you think?”
They shrugged. “I guess she did some cool stuff.”
She smiled. That was one way to put it. “For whatever it’s worth, the Admiral seems like the type of person who says what she means. I don’t see her wasting any time on platitudes.”
“She’s a politician.” Jayden sounded jaded beyond their years. “A good one, too.”
“Hmm.” Ilana’s eyes drifted shut. “I think she’s more than that.”
Jayden didn’t speak for a while, long enough for Ilana to slip into slumber. Later she awoke groggy and disoriented, the gentle tones of her morning alarm interrupting her body’s deep drink from the cool, dark well of sleep. By that time, Jayden was gone.
Just as well. Ilana sat up, rubbing her aching eyes. Her body was still tired but her mind had already shifted into gear. Today was going to be a big day.
The Admiral had given her the option to take a week of time off but Ilana had no reason to delay. She would’ve started her other job by now, anyway. She was ready to start this new chapter of her life. She’d been ready for years.
So she checked in with Asya as instructed and grabbed a breakfast tray from the cafe. She ate in silence, watching the thrum of the ship as its inhabitants went about their lives – early shifts turning in, day shifts getting started. At 0100 hours she took an elevator pad to the third floor, where a broad, tall, red-haired woman greeted her and introduced herself as Beckett. She had the build and presence of a looming mountain.
“So, what’s on the docket for today?” Ilana asked, nearly bursting with excitement and nerves. Would they be going over field conduct for Alliance contractors? Was she going to learn self-defense? Would she be training in zero-G?
“Spacewalk,” was Beckett’s gruff reply as she led her down a corridor.
Ilana gulped. Her voice became a squeak. “What?”
Beckett threw a look over her shoulder but didn’t stop walking. “Admiral says that’s your weak point. Is she wrong?”
“No, but… I thought maybe we’d… ease into it?” Ilana realized the futility of her words as she spoke. Her squad had been called into a forest fire on her first day on the frontier. Easing in was a luxury – and she was painfully behind on this very basic requirement of her new job. Her words of protest deflated from her lips. “There isn’t, like… a simulation we can do?”
Ilana had done simulations before. She’d never done great on those, either. After a few dozen sessions in the city, she’d finally raised her score enough to qualify for a space contract.
“Sim’s not the same as being out there.” Beckett led her through a gym and training area to a small dock. “Better to just rip off the bandaid. Besides, the Admiral says you’ll have to get another position if you can’t do this.”
“Cool. Great. No pressure at all.”
Beckett attached two pins to either side of Ilana’s collar. “Your suit is already vacuum-proof. Your helmet will automatically deploy and form a seal whenever the atmosphere drops below a safe pressure range. You can also press either button to activate it manually.” Ilana did so and a helmet made of programming matter unfolded over her head. “Your oxygen generator is at the back of your neck.”
She nodded, feeling claustrophobic already. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears, a drum line for her thunderous breath.
“You know how to use your grav boots, right?”
“Uh, I think so.” She shifted her weight onto her heels and her boots clicked. When activated, she felt a faint, reassuring drag every time she lifted her feet.
Beckett didn’t bother hiding her skeptical look. She wrapped a belt around Ilana’s waist and clipped it to a tether, then activated her own helmet. Her voice came through Ilana’s earpiece, which had already synced with her new hardware. “You’ll be attached to the ship and I’ll be out there with you the whole time. First exercise will be to get up on the hull and take ten paces forward and back. Let’s see what you got, newbie.”
Ilana gulped and nodded again. She steeled herself against a wave of dizziness as Beckett sealed the airlock doors and opened the door to the outside. They were facing away from any point of reference. The only thing Ilana could see was the star-speckled black curtain of space.
She could do this. She could do this.
She walked beside Beckett to the edge of the room, looking off a cliff to nothingness. “Fuck,” she muttered.
Beckett dropped a heavy hand on her shoulder. “I’ve never lost anyone out there, cadet. You’re not gonna be the first.”
The large woman took her first step over the edge, stepping onto the hull at a 90-degree angle. Ilana followed, her body swinging dramatically as her torso followed her new orientation. Her stomach lurched and she fell forward with the momentum. When her heels lifted, she accidentally deactivated her boots and floated away from the ship.
“Oh, Gaia. No! Help!” She thrashed her limbs but that was just as disorienting because the sensation wasn’t like swimming in water or even moving through the air – there was no resistance at all. She began to turn away from the ship, gasping as she flailed into the void.
Beckett yanked on her tether and pulled her back. Ilana groped towards the hull but Beckett’s voice came through into her ear. “Feet down, not headfirst! Grind into your heels.”
Ilana breathed hard. She gathered up her knees and readjusted her trajectory, landing on her feet. Her boots clicked on again and attached her to the hull.
“The boots will become second nature soon enough,” Beckett said. “Pick a grounding object to focus on.”
Ilana’s head spun whenever she looked up so she stared at the hull of the ship below her feet. Ten steps forward, turn, ten steps back. That’s all she had to do.
“Fuck.” She gathered herself and took another step.
Previous Part | | Next Part
Subscribe on Wattpad or Patreon to stay updated.