Once Gabriel had explained the nature of their situation to the rescue party, Ilana helped coordinate their extraction from inside the bubble. Figuring out the logistics of her own rescue called on every one of her professional skills and then some.
The fact that they were exposed to the vacuum of space had complicated the effort. They spoke with Admiral Nguyen of the Alliance Solar Defense Division, who had their vessel towed to a nearby carrier-class starship. The massive ship shone with lights like a city and eclipsed their view of the moon. The only comparison Ilana could think of was if someone had taken three skyscrapers and combined them horizontally.
Once inside the hull of the ship, they were able to pressurize the compartment and “burst” the bubble, as Gabriel called it, by crushing the marble in his hand.
The inside of the starship was jarring coming out of the cocoon of the shuttle. Ilana flinched at the cold air and lighting in comparison to the warm, diffuse glow that had enveloped them inside the bubble.
She glanced at Gabriel, who was looking at where the bubble had disappeared. When he met her gaze, she could see in his expression that he felt the same – a mix of longing, nostalgia, and mourning something lost.
“Impressive, Dr. Fontaine.” A slight but commanding woman approached them, flanked by two others dressed in varying styles all in the same shade of navy. Ilana recognized her voice from the com. She shook hands with Gabriel then Ilana. “Admiral Ai Nguyen at your service. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.”
“Likewise,” Gabriel said.
“Mx. Travers, well done out there.”
Ilana had to clear her throat to find her voice. She’d never met someone she’d actually learned about in primary school. “Thank you.”
“My sympathies for what you’ve gone through.” The Admiral’s tone was so genuine it put Ilana at ease. She motioned for them to follow her. “Please, let’s get you to a medic.”
Before following the Admiral, Ilana looked back to see other personnel tending to the unconscious children and the body of the attendant they’d left behind in the shuttle.
The Admiral’s waist-length white hair billowed behind her, the sides pulled back from her face and tied in a complex knot at the back of her head. She wore wide teal trousers under her long split tunic and a collar with four silver four-prong stars. One officer flanking her wore an ankle-length dress and a loose shawl over her head. Another wore a tailored suit with a high-collared jacket. Both of them carried three stars on their collars.
The one with the shawl approached Ilana, holding a pad and pen. Her colorful nails glinted in the light. “I’m Dr. Asya Ghorbani, head of Medicine on Frontier One. It’s my job to help you recover from your ordeal.”
“Wow. Head of medicine?” Ilana let out a nervous laugh. “When did I become so important?”
The doctor gave her a polite smile and Ilana flushed. She was so out of her element. A nurse with a single star on their scrubs brought over a hovering med unit – a reclining chair with a sleeve attached. As they neared, a mechanism unfolded from the back of the chair into an oval ring above it. The halo activated a privacy shield down to the ground, a force field blurring and muting the med unit from the outside world.
Before Ilana lay back on the chair, she could see Gabriel getting the same treatment a few meters away. As soon as he passed through his own privacy screen, she could only make out vague shapes.
The doctor worked the medical unit as Ilana lay down and put her arm through the sleeve. The unit took her vitals and cataloged her injuries. High cortisol, bruises on her neck and head, concussion. She must’ve hit her head when the attendant tackled her.
Her hand went reflexively to her neck as she remembered the crushing force of the attendant over her, his grip cutting off her breath. She closed her eyes and flinched, the images threatening to carry her away. She had the urge to turn away from the memory, bury it deep behind her. Not necessarily to forget but to just… move forward with her life.
“Trauma response recognized,” reported the med unit. “Emotional therapy prescribed. Would you like to start your therapy now?”
“What does that involve?” Ilana asked. Her frontier unit would prescribe therapy after any rough storms but the process was far less technologically advanced than this.
“You’ll receive a dose of medication to numb your emotional responses,” Dr. Ghorbani explained. “After that, you’ll go through prompts to recall the experience without reinforcing the trauma. Then you’ll do some physical exercises to counter the trauma’s effects on your system.”
She did feel a little… strung out. Stretched to her limits, emotionally and physically. Maybe even fraying a bit at the edges. A dose of numbing didn’t sound so bad. “Do I do that now, or…?”
“You may, yes. We can take as long as you need. I’ll guide you through the thought processes and exercises.” When Ilana hesitated, the doctor offered her an encouraging smile. “Would you like my advice?”
“Sure.”
“The body carries manifestations of trauma despite it being an ‘invisible wound.’ The medic will take some time to treat your physical injuries. You can take that time to also treat your mind. For what it’s worth, it helps to address your trauma early before the emotional triggers have a chance to calcify.” Dr. Ghorbani turned away from Ilana to focus on the holos, giving her literal space to think. “The Admiral would like to debrief with you once you feel well enough. Processing the event beforehand will help.”
The doctor folded up her pen and pad, which transformed and hooked around her arm like a bracelet.
“Alright,” Ilana said. “I’ll try it.”
As the medical unit got to work, Ilana’s arm warmed up underneath the medical sleeve. A soft, cosy heat spread through the rest of her body until her limbs became pliant and her head fell back against the seat.
“I will be administering your dose of numbing now,” the doctor said. As soon as Ilana started wondering when the numbing would kick in, she stopped caring so much about the answer. The ambient light dimmed.
“Let your thoughts come and go,” the doctor continued. “Try not to hang onto any particular thought, just observe wherever they take you. If you ever feel lost, focus on your breath. You can say yellow to slow down or back off, red to stop. How are you feeling now?”
Ilana nestled deeper into the cushion. “Pretty relaxed, actually.”
The doctor guided Ilana to close her eyes, her voice carrying her through the dark veil behind her eyelids. She guided her through thoughts of her morning, the sensations of the breakfast she ate, the first steps she took onto the Lunar shuttle. The first moment when things started going wrong.
The moment when they escalated.
This was where her chest would tighten, her muscles would tense, the images would flood and overwhelm her with waves of terror and dread. Instead, the impact was like a calm shore lapping at her feet. Rather than shutting down her mind, she could wade through her thoughts.
Ilana could tell when the medic moved to healing her bruises, her neck and scalp heating and tingling. The sensation recalled the way the attendant slammed her against the shuttle before overpowering her on the ground. But Ilana’s body stayed soft in this moment, detached from the past as if she were watching a holo reel. Not back in the middle of it.
The doctor asked her to open her eyes and follow the motions of a soft light projected in her field of view. The light floated side to side, back and forth, slowly at first, then gradually increasing in speed. The doctor’s soft, open-ended questions continued. Ilana’s thoughts combined with and passed through the motions of the light in a strange dance of mental and sensory stimulation.
She’d always faced danger within parameters. In her career, she’d gone into natural disasters prepared to face the sea swell that came with a category eight hurricane or the wind speeds of an F7 tornado. But with this violence, she’d had no control. She’d really thought she might die. And there had been nothing she could do about it at that moment.
What if it happened again? What if she wasn’t lucky enough to get rescued the next time?
It was terrifying to think about… but her heart rate remained steady.
The doctor continued with her gentle prodding, guiding Ilana forward instead of allowing her to get sucked into a dark well of thoughts. She thought about how the Lunar shuttle exploded. How the force of the blast reached out towards them in their emergency raft to tear them to shreds. The flinch of anticipated impact, the hitch of possibly her last breath.
All the while, she continued following the light with her eyes. Side to side, slowly then quickening, then slowly again. A curious rhythm weaving thoughts of the past into the present.
Her thoughts began to drift, like clouds diffusing into the air. She still remembered the violent events that brought her here. But instead of looming over her mind, they slid into place along with the rest of her life experiences, like slipping a book into its designated place on a shelf. Taking only as much space as it needed rather than overshadowing everything else.
She considered all the risks she’d taken before on the job. Although she’d gone into storms prepared, she’d still experienced moments where she’d lost control. She’d survived. And she knew she was safe now.
Her thoughts drifted to Gabriel, the stranger who’d saved her life and given her his strength when she’d needed it. Would she see him again?
She’d felt safe with him.
Vaguely Ilana realized that the doctor was no longer talking and hadn’t been for a while. The light slowed down and stopped, then faded away. The doctor instructed her to close her eyes.
“This particular numbing agent helps work through complex trauma but it may temporarily blunt your ability to access other types of feelings. The effects will wear off in about an hour. The medic will be done soon. Until then, please take the time to rest. This is the end of our session but you’ll receive follow-up materials in your inbox. I recommend at least two more sessions to get the most benefit out of the process. A nurse will check in on you from time to time. Please call us if you need anything.”
With that, she left Ilana to the soft hum of the medic as it worked, her thoughts ebbing and flowing like a placid shore at first daylight.
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